In Need

It's been a couple of months since I've blogged and I thought I might need to write to clear my head and my emotions.  I'm looking for a bit of catharsis and hoping this will help.  I don't know what I'm going to write about and there probably won't be a theme but I know I'm feeling down and I need something to help lift my spirits.

Just within the past couple of weeks or so I've started to feel extremely emotional.  I know, I know, I'm pregnant and this comes with the territory.  But it's more than just emotional - it's sadness.  I feel like my medication isn't working like it should and I'm frightened for what the postpartum period holds for me.  I am so overwhelmed with everything that still has yet to be accomplished with the house before this child comes and I'm so incapacitated by this that I'm not able to do the simplest things (side note: physical exhaustion also rules my life right now and anything I try to do to engage my body in some sort of exercise or task results in contractions..frustrating).  I worry about a safe and healthy delivery for us both.  I worry we won't have what we need to take care of this little guy.  I can't stand that the house is a mess and I don't have the energy or focus to fix it.  I hate that I can't exercise as intensely as I'd like because it really helps with my stress level.  I'm mourning the loss of this stage of my life where it's just my husband and me.  I'm concerned about finances and not being able to find a good job to pay for daycare and pay off our debt quickly.  I worry we won't be able to sell our car and find something reliable we can pay for with the little cash we have set aside.  Oh, and I worry about how all of this stress I'm experiencing is effecting our child while he's still in the womb.  I feel overwhelmed and stricken with sadness, fear, anxiety and exhaustion. 

This is also hard on my husband (obviously) but he seems to be dealing with it quite well and always offers up himself when/if I need him.  For those of you who live with or are close to someone with depression and/or anxiety, simply offering your time and your listening ear is enough to reinstate the calm and sanity that is needed to think and see things more clearly (a new perspective).  We need outside perspective and we are willing to listen.  And, it's also a good idea to ask what you can do for this person in your life to help him or her through a difficult time or to just encourage them (us) on a daily basis.  We may not have an answer (often times we don't) but we appreciate your willingness and thoughtfulness and the fact that it makes us feel less alone during these times. 

I hope that those of you who are reading this don't just think I'm complaining.  If that's all you see, then stop reading, because you're missing the point.  I know that many people go through what I'm going through right now (and worse) with a lot less than what I have and who I have in my life for support.  And I deeply appreciate these things and these people.  I'm just looking to clear my head, reach out to others, and know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.  I'm just looking for a little encouragement at a time when I don't have a whole lot of it to offer to others. 

In Need,

Maureen

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6,7