A New Day

Lately it seems I've been having a lot of trouble accomplishing things on my "to do" list.  There are a couple of reasons for this, I think.  One, pregnancy makes me tired.  REALLY tired.  And I never know when it's going to hit.  Some days I have these amazing bursts of energy.  But then there are days like today - where I didn't get to sleep until 3 am (thank you, pregnancy induced insomnia), had a horrible nights sleep, and couldn't manage to pry myself out of bed before 1 pm.  And it makes me feel flat out lousy.  I hate that I've missed out on almost an entire day when I could have been doing something productive instead of sleeping.  I feel like a failure (I know I'm not).  So back to my list of reasons.

  Two, I'm depressed and some days it takes every bit of strength I can muster to get out of bed.  Not even get dressed - just get out of bed.  It's exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally using every fiber of your being to focus on that one task.  I know some of you may think this is ridiculous, but it's the truth.  I've had several days in a row in the past where I haven't been able to get out of bed and I'm skimming along rock bottom.  My husband takes a day off of work to help me and I call my psychiatrist and talk with her.  Usually, a medication change comes along with this.  And then there's the time it takes to adjust to this new medicine (usually about a week) until you can feel it starting to work.  

When I'm having days like these, where I feel like I can't get anything done and that it's too late in the day to do anything about it, I remember this - it's never too late to start over.  Start from where I am and go from there.  I can still be productive and do things I want to do and if I don't finish all of them, it's okay.  I've got tomorrow to look forward to.  Every day is a new day, a new beginning.  Sometimes we have to start over every hour, every minute.  Again, there is nothing wrong with this.  We (I) just have to be willing to do this.  There's no need to feel ashamed.  There's no need to feel like a failure.  And there's certainly no need to throw yourself a pity party (well, maybe a small one is okay as long as you don't dwell on it and allow yourself to move on quickly).  Just keep going.

Maureen