Thoughts for the day

I haven't blogged in awhile since I've been sick and then out of town.  I've missed it!  I'm feeling much better now, though, and had a nice visit with my family and friends in Norman that lifted my spirits.  However, today I am feeling a little lonely and restless.  It was so nice to wake up and be around people who love me and take care of me - not that my husband doesn't, but he leaves for work early in the morning and then it's just me and the puppies.  They provide me with comfort, but not the same as being around people when I need them to stimulate me.

I think a part of these things I experience are due to the fact that I am currently unemployed.  I feel purposeless some days and like I'm just treading water.  This wasn't a choice I got to make but I am looking every day for something new to do that will meet our financial needs and maybe fulfill some of my social needs.  I pray for the right job at the right time, I just haven't found it yet.  Another obstacle in the job hunt has been that I am a RN but I don't like my career.  It's hard to know what you want to do with your life when you don't know what you like.  So, for now, I've decided to just look for a job as a nurse off of the floor (no hospitals) to pass the time and help provide for our family and pay off some debt.  This has also proven to be a challenge as there aren't as many jobs available outside of the hospital as there are in - and the jobs that are available outside have requirements that I don't meet in terms of experience.  I've found this to be frustrating and disheartening at times, but I'm not giving up.
I guess this just leads me into feeling restless.  I do what I can with what I have and sometimes it feels like it's not enough and that I'm not getting anywhere.  It's hard to stay focused when I feel this way so I try and distract myself with other things like our debt free journey, planning for the baby, and cooking dinner for my husband.  There are things that I just have to accept are out of my control and I can't let myself focus on them and let it bring me further down in my depression.  Refocusing is so hard for me right now, though.
 
There's not much else for me to say today, I just felt like sharing some things that have been on my mind lately.  No major themes, just thoughts.  Here's to moving forward, one step at a time.

Maureen